no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
