mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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