TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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