Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
