Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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