two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
