Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
