it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
