Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize