Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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