sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
