Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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