So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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