Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i barfeds in our rink
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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