I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
