I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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