and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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