remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You smell like stripper and shame
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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