Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize