p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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