Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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