You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
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Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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