Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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