he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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