dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
