Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
