Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
