I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
