drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
