There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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