so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
MIDGETS
????
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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