Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
