It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
