Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
