she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
