what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's Friday. Sex?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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