do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
