just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
