your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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