after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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