Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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