We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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