The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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