OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
