just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
