I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
