Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
