i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
