the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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