I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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