Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
