well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
