It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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