Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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