my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
