theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize