Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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