When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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