Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize