i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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