careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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