is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
