I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
