Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Two words: nipple clamps
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