dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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