When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I had to cum in my sink.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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