dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
