I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
