those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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