I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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