I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
